G’day mate!
Yesterday I joined the charity marathon(12km), so my hole body hurts.
Anyway today I’m going to practice the writing about Email.
Question
I plan to arrive on 6 August in order to find some temporary rented accommodation. I would not require anything too expensive, preferably somewhere with good shopping facilities nearby and not too far from the school. Could you recommend two possible areas?
Best regards
John Simpson
Dear Mr John Simpson
Thank you for informing me of the date of your arrival. There is a wide choice of reasonably priced rented accommodation available in the city. Here are just two areas that you might like to consider.
East Perth has a wide choice of transports and beautiful nature, so you would take less than twenty minutes to journey to the school, despite not being closer to centre of the city. Moreover, there are adequate facilities for shopping and activities such as very big shopping centre which has famous brand stores and long time open supermarkets.
Another possibility is Perth city, which is a centre of the city and slightly more expensive than East Perth. It is easy for you to journey to the school, and shopping centre. You would take less than five minutes by foot or bicycle. However there is a good deal of noise because of the centre of the city.
I hope you find this information useful. I look forward to seeing you in August.
Kind regards
Shunsuke Ikeda
Hi Shun,
Despite some grammatical errors, your writing has improved dramatically. I wouldn’t think the same person wrote this post and the previous post on “travel in group vs alone”. Well done.
Hiro
PS: Because your improvement is so dramatic, I need to be on the cautious side. If you had copied someone else’s work, you would need to know it’s called plagiarism, and it’s a crime. Please take this comment as a compliment not as criticism, for your improvement was that stunning.
Thanks Hiro.
No my teacher told me some useful sentences and also she’s modified my writing more than 5 times,so that’s why this writing was much better than before.
And I’ve already learned about plagiarism.
Cheers
You know plagiarism, great! You could have mentioned in the beginning that this writing is the results of teacher’s feedback. Remember to acknowledge person who helps you – ALWAYS.